Finally

Okay, I think that I am finally back to blogging it up, motherfucker! KliniK's been begging me to update this thing, so I guess I'll have to obey him if I want to get free CVS stuff. I don't really know what to say. I'm still on the sub list, so I still am a substitute teacher, but no teachers know me, so I never get asked to sub. I think I might start walking Josh to his homeroom for 2 reasons: 1) It would really piss him off. 2) It would help me meet his teacher so she would know who I am. I really would have no problem telling the teacher "If you ever need a sub, call me." I really want to start making some money. I really have no clue what the hell to talk about, which is the main reason why I rarely update this thing. I'm out. See ya!

KLINIK

Give it to me

Today I Subbed

Last night, before I got on here and talked with some people, I got a call from an old teacher of mine who wanted me to sub today. So today, I went to her classroom and I subbed! Her internet wasn't working and she didn't have AIM like the teacher I had last week, so that means I had to summon up some Matt's Mayhem! The first thing I did was pull out a Reese's Cup and told the kids "OK, whoever can tell me who Gene Snitsky is gets this piece of candy!" and NO ONE KNEW WHO HE WAS! Damn, I know WWE's not as popular as it used to be, but for no one out of about 30 kids to watch wrestling is horrible. So that pretty much blew my spirits since no one knew who my favorite RAW superstar is. After I left, I drove home and took a nap since I had to get up at 6 a.m. this morning. Then I watched some of Mick Foley's Greatest Hits & Misses, then ate dinner, then watched some TV, then took a shower, then got on here, and that's where I am now. So there's a full day in the life of Matthew J. Davis! That's it for now fans, see you next time!


P.S. Seeing as the article I wrote about Gene Snitsky yesterday got such a good reaction, expect possibly another article about a wrestler in the future. Any ideas anyone?

Gene Snitsky - Breaker of the Jobber Laws

Last week, as I watched RAW, I saw Kane demanding Shawn Michaels. RAW GM, Eric Bischoff, instead let Kane choose his opponent for a No DQ Match later that night. I figured it would be a lower-card wrestler like Maven or "Stephanie" Richards, but no, as we came back from the break and Kane's pyro started, I noticed an individual already present in the ring besides Lillian Garcia and the referee. Since I absolutely love watching jobbers get squashed, I got excited that we would get to see it on WWE's flagship program. But as soon as the camera showed him and Lillian said "And in the ring, Gene Snitsky!", I knew there was something different. I didn't think much about it and watched as Kane pummeled this unfortunate local jobber. Out of no where there came a few punches to the gut, perhaps a comeback...but no, Kane takes him down with a big boot and the squashing continues. Kane goes out of the ring and grabs the chair and I think "Wow, this jobber gets more than he's bargained for," and watch as Kane attempts to decapitate Snitsky. Lita comes in and saves the poor jobber, but he continues to lay there motionless. As Kane gets in the Lita's face, the unthinkable happens. The jobber, Snitsky, WHACKS KANE IN THE BACK WITH THE CHAIR! I sat there in awe, not over the Miscarriage of Me (Justice), but over the fact that Snitsky became the first jobber to break the laws of the Jobber Handbook. What laws did he break? Well, let's take a look:

JobberLaw #34: A jobber may never get his hands on a foreign object of any sort.
JobberLaw #57: A jobber may never do anything more complex than a bodyslam.

Even though I was shocked, I figured that Snitsky was probably a random guy picked play the character of "the guy that caused the baby to die" and would never be seen again. Lo and behold, this week on RAW, there he was again, this time speaking with Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler from the backstage area, breaking more laws! What laws? Well, let's refer to our trusty handbook again:

JobberLaw #63: A jobber may never participate in an interview segment of any sort.

And not only that, the jobber went on to discuss his actions last week and make his case, and in the process, breaking this law:

JobberLaw #68: A jobber may never get himself involved in a storyline with another individual.

I am still in a state of shock at how this jobber has......well, won himself a feud to take part in. Please feel free to leave comments about your thoughts on Gene Snitsky, a true outlaw for all jobbers (especially if you're wwefan 123 and the ever hilarious ecw4eva).

Keeping Up With KliniK and Lee

This post is basically just to keep up with KliniK and Lee, who update their blogs on a daily basis. So this post will just be random things thrown together. I haven't gotten called to sub this week, and since today's Wednesday, I'm not sure if I'll get called at all. I really am considering getting a new job, but I'm not sure what to do. Being a sub is so easy, all you have to do is go to the school and sit there and watch a class. You can use the teacher's computer to surf the net, bring a wrestling book or magazine to read; basically, I like being a sub cuz it is IMO the perfect job for a wrestling fan. The problem is the pay ($50). I really need more money. I'm not sure what Lee does, but I know that KliniK makes over $200 a week (that's about how much I make in a month!). Well, enough bitching about my job, onto WWE. One thing that I always like to laugh at is things that JR does that no one else in the world would do. I crack up whenever a heel beats up JR, but when he turns face JR loves the guy. I've concluded that JR is either very forgetful, or very kind and forgiving. Unforgiven was an awesome show, if you didn't see the Ladder Match, I suggest ordering Unforgiven from wwe.com's PPV section (you get the cool extra matches from the old WCW) or buying it on DVD. Even though I realize the seriousness of how Jericho could've shattered his tailbone, it was funny seeing him get a ladder literally rammed up his ass. That match is one of my nominations for Match of the Year (my other is Orton vs Cactus Jack from Backlash 04). That's it for tonight fans, see ya next time!

Week, Weekend, Mordecai, and wwefan 123 (yes buddy, I included you in the title)

Back after a brief absence. The rest of the week I actually didn't have to sub. Or should I say "get to sub" considering it's an easy job and the more I do it, the more I get paid. This weekend I didn't do much. Saturday I sat around here and then went to the mall to look around at some stuff and see some of my friends (I see at least one person I know every time I go to the mall). I ended up running into one of my best friends and one of the craziest guys I know, Scott. We went to Applebee's and ordered a huge rack of ribs. The waitress named Jennifer that we had was hot. After that, I went home and I guess Scott went home. I got online and talked to KliniK then went to bed. This morning I woke up and went to church and then got on here. I've been talking to KliniK and Lee (I am at this very moment). KliniK has a Hall of Fame on his blog now (sadly no Mordecai stuff). Mordecai really was a good wrestler in my opinion, but I didn't watch him for his wrestling. If you go back a few months, you will find I had a fascination with making fun of the Pale Rider's speech imprediment. I mean, seriously, how could you watch a promo that says "I will punith all you thinnerth!" and not laugh. Mordecai was my favorite guy on Smackdown besides Undertaker and of course, JBL. That brings up another thing. I was reading one of the Hall of Fame posts about KliniK bitching cuz JBL had just won the WWE Championship and I scrolled down to find a comment from none other than the late wwefan 123. He defended JBL and acted very noble. wwefan, I know you read my blog, and I know you're not welcome at KliniK or Lee's blog, but you are welcome here. I praise you for being such a great guy.

BIG NEWS

It appears my blog has finally spit out my huge post about work on Tuesday! You can find it under the Blog Troubles and Wool Tights post.

Blog Troubles and Wool Tights

Well, as you can tell by the heading, I have decided to stop numbering my blog posts and giving them titles. Yesterday I subbed for an old teacher and had one of the best days of my whole subbing career. So, naturally, when I got home I typed up this HUGE post about what happened at work and stuff. But the thing timed out and wouldn't post and when I pushed the back button, it pulled up a blank entry page and I didn't feel like typing it all over again. Just to let you know, this will never happen again since KliniK gave me a great idea of typing it up on Notepad then pasting it in here. No subbing today, so moving on. I am going to start telling stories about what exactly I do online with KliniK and Lee AKA The Justice League. Today's story is entitled Wool Tights (for those of you who didn't read the title of this post). To explain this, I am going to quote some of Ric Flair's book.

(This is JR talking about the whole situation with Jim Herd)
But Herd often made decisions based on the last person he talked to. People who weren't even working for us would call him. He talked to Sam Muchnick. He talked to Lou Thesz; hell, Lou would have us go back to wool tights. We would think that we had something established, a long-term direction, and then Herd would change it.

OK, I read the thing about Lou Thesz and sort of found it funny, but didn't really think about telling anybody about it. For those of you who don't know, the KliniK is very fond of old-school style wrestling. One of the guys he'll probably talk about if you ever get to talk to him about wrestling is Lou Thesz. I don't remember exactly how, but he was talking about Lou Thesz and I said something about wool tights and KliniK found it funny (he also probably thought I came up with it since he hasn't read Flair's book yet). And so I kept sticking in the thing about wool tights until we started making more jokes about Lou. Eventually we figured out a whole scenario of what would happen if Lou Thesz had to wrestle today. He would have a following of fans called Theszbians. His catchphrase would be "Thesz it up, motherfucker!" And the #1 selling item on Shopzone would be wool tights! I know this probably doesn't make sense to most of you Mayhemamaniacs, but I'm sure the KliniK and probably Lee will find it funny. That's it for now fans, see ya tomorrow!